The lies you've been told about confidence

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Freedom, freedom, freedom. Malaysians, my love! Wave and raise our flag, up high.

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Free your mind from lies you’ve been told about everything. Every. Single. Thing. Haha!

Let’s cut to the chase. For today, free your mind from lies you’ve been told about confidence.

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First of all, people who are confident were not always like that.

Most confident people have had tough starts in relationships with themselves. Inner conflicts, if managed well by taking actions and reflecting on lessons, can do wonders.

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Accepting your flaws and be able to work through it may be challenging but once you learn how to work around it, you will be incredible. It can be your source of strength, amazingly!

Next, changing your body and outlook will not make you more confident. At least, not permanently. It helps, a little but only to a certain point. To be more confident, the bigger issue is what is underneath; something that only you can control and do something about. Limiting mindset will be a big barrier to building self-acceptance and confidence.

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Moreover, feeling confident only when you feel loved, cared for, supported and worthy by other people is a recipe for disaster. This will lead you to be unhappy and feel incomplete. Guess who is the only one you should seek all of these from? Yes, God. Only the Almighty.

Next? Y-O-U. Only you can change your responses to a certain situation.

Others are not capable to change your inner state and do all the inner work for you. They can, however, assist and motivate, train and guide you through, easing the process to ensure you progress further.

Has it ever crossed your mind that confident people never feel insecure? False! They actually do but they don't let this stop or control them.

As a human being, we will face insecurity throughout our life and that's perfectly normal. When in those situations, take a second and try to see things from a bigger picture.

Fear and anxiety are signs telling us to take a break as there is something we need to learn more about. Lifelong learning, remember. In reality, not all things will go our way but we will get there, very soon.

Remember! It's unhealthy to say " I will only be fully confident once I have reached all of my goals". It is as if you’re saying "I will only love my country once it is corruption and tyranny free”.

In the meantime, what will happen to all those beautiful landscapes and views? Peaceful surroundings and ample choice of food and education? Kind and helpful diverse people? Don’t throw away the whole cake because it is bitter. Fix it.

Remember to take care of those on a personal level. For yourself and your beloved country.

Similarly, life is a journey and you will always have new goals. Therefore, confidence-building is not a one-time only process. It should be continuously built and enhanced.

In honour of Malaysia’s 65th Independence Day, build your inner confidence one step at a time. Trusting realistic inner capabilities is crucial to managing emotional challenges and succeeding with goals in life.

A healthy amount of confidence is essential to mental health and improves resilience. The key to confidence is self-awareness, to allow yourself to experience and reflect on even the most unpleasant emotions.

Confident people and citizens make informed and positive decisions.

However, be mindful that excessive confidence involves ignoring the needs of others in favour of one’s personal interest. We don’t want that.

Another good citizen in the making is one future terrible leader tackled. Well, lots of prayers to this.

Keep the flag flying, for Malaysia’s sake! Literally and figuratively speaking.

SYAZUIN SAZALI is a Subject Matter Expert in English language and soft skills. She aims to continuously advocate for progressive growth in education. Linkedin & Instagram: @syazuinsazali, Email: syazuinsazali@gmail.com

The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect those of Sinar Daily.