EMOTIONAL suppression in boys isn’t just a childhood issue, it’s a quiet crisis shaping the mental health of an entire generation of Malaysian men. Experts warn when boys grow up being told to “toughen up” or “don’t cry”, those unprocessed emotions often reappear years later as anxiety, burnout, anger or even misogynistic attitudes.
Consultant psychiatrist Dr Fitri Zainuddin from Hospital Al-Sultan Abdullah (HASA), UiTM Puncak Alam, said these patterns typically surface once men enter adulthood and relationships - when emotional demands become unavoidable.
“Many men don’t understand why their behaviour is changing, and their partners struggle too.
“Anger, anxiety or disrupted sleep patterns aren’t personality flaws but are signs these men need help," he told Sinar Daily. Dr Fitri said Malaysian boys were often raised to be strong, stoic and unshakeable, praised for toughness but discouraged from naming their emotions.
Without guidance, they grow into adults who cannot recognise sadness or fear even when it overwhelms them.
Instead, these emotions leak out in physical ways: chest tightness, irritability, fatigue, withdrawal - and when the emotional pressure finally erupts, it commonly appears through anger or emotional shutdowns.
He warned that this emotional illiteracy is not harmless but can fuel resentment, insecurity and behaviours that mirror misogyny.
“If a child isn’t taught how to manage stress, identify emotions or solve problems, these gaps follow them into adulthood. Their mental health worsens and sometimes it manifests as frustration towards women,” he said. Despite being raised to be protectors, providers and problem-solvers, many men silently buckle under the weight of adult expectations.
Dr Fitri said they push through work stress, relationship conflicts and family responsibilities without ever acknowledging their emotional pain because they were never taught how.
“Men believe asking for help makes them weak. But inside, they may be hurting deeply,” he said. Therapy, he said, can interrupt these harmful patterns but only if men seek support early. He stated that recognising emotional symptoms before they escalate can prevent long-term harm to their partners, families and themselves.
He urged society to normalise conversations about men’s mental health instead of dismissing their struggles.
“Getting help is not a weakness, it is a strength. It is the first step to becoming a better man and a positive role model," he said.
Unfortunately the issues goes far beyond the individual households or relationship dynamics, it reflects a national pattern Malaysia has been grappling with for decades.
National data shows the scale of the crisis: mental health problems among adults surged from 10.7 per cent in 1996 to 29.2 per cent in 2015, according to the National Health Morbidity Survey.
While anxiety remains the most commonly reported condition, depression has been rising at an alarming rate. Within a single decade, national depression figures climbed from 1.8 per cent to 2.3 per cent, translating to nearly half a million Malaysians aged 16 and above.
Still, experts believe these numbers barely scratch the surface especially when it comes to men. A 2023 peer-reviewed Heliyon study titled “Depressive symptoms among adults: Baseline findings of PURE Malaysia cohort study” offers one of the clearest snapshots of Malaysians aged 35 to 70.
The community-based research found 3.7 per cent of respondents showed depressive symptoms, higher than the national rate at the time and revealing a troubling trend.