SHE wakes before dawn. Makes breakfast for the children, does the laundry, tidies up and prepares for the day. By the time the world outside her door starts spinning, she has already worked two full shifts - without a paycheck.
For many Malaysian women, this is reality. Staying home with the family is no longer a lifestyle choice - it’s a financial calculation and increasingly, one that doesn’t add up.
Rising living costs, uneven wages across states, and limited social protection have made full-time homemaking a luxury only a shrinking segment of households can afford. In urban centres, dual incomes are no longer optional, they are necessary.
Project Girl4Girls Malaysia Deputy Country Lead Fildzah Zulkifli said the reality today is that being a full-time housewife, especially in cities, is becoming a luxury rather than a choice.
“What we’re seeing is that even families who might prefer having one parent at home are being pushed into dual-income arrangements out of necessity. A single income simply doesn’t stretch far enough anymore,” she said.
Malaysia’s median household income hovers around RM5,000 to RM6,000, but that figure quickly erodes when housing, education, healthcare, childcare and daily necessities are factored in. In urban areas, rent or mortgage payments alone can consume a significant portion of a single salary.
Statistics Department (DOSM) revealed the labour force participation rate stood at 70.9 per cent in November 2025, with female participation at 56.6 per cent, reflecting a steady rise in women entering or remaining in the workforce. While this is often framed as progress, experts say it also reflects economic pressure rather than empowerment alone.
The middle-class squeeze
Contrary to popular assumptions, it is not the lowest-income households that feel the sharpest strain.
“The group under the most pressure is actually the M40. They earn too much to qualify for most government assistance, but not enough to comfortably sustain a single-income household,” Fildzah said.
M40 families are more likely to carry urban mortgages, transport costs, education fees and enrichment programmes for their children. Combined with rising food prices, relying on one salary has become increasingly unrealistic.
In contrast, B40 families often have lower expectations and access to targeted aid, while T20 households generally have more financial cushioning and flexibility.
“The M40 group is caught in the middle-class squeeze,” she said.
This pressure is reflected in the emotional toll borne by women. Through her work with women-focused programmes, Fildzah said M40 women consistently report high stress when balancing work and family.
“They’re torn between wanting to be present for their children and wanting to give them opportunities they didn’t have. Many feel like they’re constantly compromising rather than making real choices,” she said.
Location changes everything
Whether being a housewife is feasible also depends heavily on geography.
“A housewife in Kelantan or Kedah, where median household incomes might be RM3,000 to RM4,000, lives a very different reality from one in Kuala Lumpur, where that same income barely covers rent,” Fildzah said.
Lower living costs, extended family support and social norms that still accommodate single-income households make staying home more viable in some rural or semi-rural areas. However, experts caution against romanticising this reality.
“Rural housewives often face limited access to healthcare, education and opportunities for their children. Urban housewives may struggle financially, but they have access to better schools, hospitals and future earning potential,” she said.
In Selangor, Kuala Lumpur and Penang, the states with the highest median wages, the cost of living is also among the highest. A single income that might sustain a household in Kelantan would be insufficient in Shah Alam or the Klang Valley.
Choice or necessity?
The question of whether women stay home by choice or compulsion no longer has a simple answer.
“The line between choice and necessity is increasingly blurred,” Fildzah said, describing three common scenarios.
The first involves women forced out of the workforce because childcare and commuting costs would consume their entire salary. The second involves women constrained by workplaces that do not offer flexible or part-time options, leaving them little choice but to stay home. The third group, women who genuinely choose homemaking based on values or financial security, is shrinking.
“Twenty years ago, staying home might have meant choosing family over career. Today, it’s often choosing the least financially damaging option,” she said.
As a result, women are redefining “choice”, delaying work to preserve long-term earning potential, working despite preferring to stay home or turning to informal arrangements such as home-based businesses or gig work.
Women still carrying the double load of work and care
Women’s rights advocate Ivy Josiah has warned that the rising cost of living is placing heavy pressure on Malaysian families, especially female-headed households.
She said wage growth is not keeping up with expenses and while initiatives like Budi95 and Sumbangan Asas Rahmah (Sara) help, broader and sustained support is needed.
“Income and social protection must continue to include food affordability, affordable housing, accessible healthcare, reliable public transport and affordable childcare services,” the former WAO president said.
She also said that many women, particularly from lower-middle-income households, are working out of necessity while still bearing most childcare and housework responsibilities.
“Women work outside their homes and still continue to bear the brunt of housework and childcare. Simply put, mothers are exhausted from working two shifts,” she added.
Meanwhile, Tenaganita Women’s Force executive director Glorene A Das said women from lower middle-income and marginalised communities often take on insecure, informal work while still carrying the full burden of unpaid care.
“Many mothers are not choosing to work, they are compelled to. This double burden affects their health, well-being and access to decent work,” she said.
The invisible work
Meanwhile for housewives, despite contributing enormously through unpaid care work, they remain largely unprotected. They have no automatic Employees Provident Fund (EPF) contributions, limited social security and little financial independence if a marriage breaks down or a crisis occurs.
“The system recognises that care work is essential but provides almost no protection for those who do it,” Fildzah said.
Ultimately, experts agree the issue is not whether women should stay home or work, but whether they are truly free to choose. Until then, for many Malaysian families, being a housewife is less about preference and more about whether they can afford it at all.