KUANTAN – More than two decades engaging in sex work while living under a female identity has become a painful source of regret for a former transgender sex worker seeking redemption.
Abu Kassim, 45, not his real name, who used the name Rosalinda during his 23 years in the sex trade, admitted he never found peace despite being surrounded by the pleasures of nightlife.
"At that time, I was never afraid of what I was doing, as though life would last forever.
"I simply followed my desires because money came easily and there was always excitement, but little did I realise I was heading towards a very deep path of destruction," he said when met in Kuantan.
Reflecting on his past, Abu Kassim said everything began after he moved to Kuala Lumpur in 2003 at the age of 18 under the influence of friends.
"I slowly drifted away until I began offering sexual services as a transgender sex worker. I even came close to undergoing gender reassignment surgery when I was in my 20s," he said.
After years of moving from place to place, including living in Melaka and Johor, Abu Kassim decided to settle in Kuantan to begin a new chapter in his life.
He said his heart was moved after listening to religious lectures on YouTube about God's forgiveness and the final moments before death.
"The more I listened, the more vividly I saw the major sins I had committed over those many years.
"Every night, I was haunted by guilt and worried that my life would end while I was still living in sin," he said.