Marital issues are not for social media

MARRIAGE is an institution that brings couples together through the ups and downs in life. It is human nature to want to live in pairs and further strengthen the relationship between oneself, family and relatives.

However, not all marriages stand the test of time and the trials of life and be unravelled in a blink of an eye.

The Statistics Department (DOSM) recently revealed that the divorce rate in this country last year was the highest recorded since 2016.

The statistics show that Muslim couple divorces increased by 45.8 percent last year which is 46,138 cases compared to 31,650 cases in 2021.The fact is, this current trend is very worrying, especially since there are couples who have been married for a few weeks and are no longer living together.

Whether you realise it or not, there is now a phenomenon of airing marriages dirty laundry on social media to attract attention and gain sympathy.

Marriage is not a game, let alone casually air all marriage issues you face to the general public. This conflict does not help to solve the problem or is a shortcut to discuss it openly, on the contrary it makes the situation of the conflicting parties even more difficult.

In airing dirty laundry in a very public sphere, a partner's feelings are often ignored and more than often only one side of the story is heard. This is all at the expense of supposedly being the right party in the conflict.

Among the causes of divorce are financial problems, misunderstandings, interference from outside parties, the presence of third party, the influence of drugs, jealousy and physical and mental abuse.

However, there are also cases of divorce occurring due to trivial matters such as snoring, body odour, waking up late and fighting over television shows.

Couples who want to divorce use various reasons not to live together anymore, among them irreconcilable differences, and that there are no longer shared goals or understanding.

Perhaps divorce is the only solution available, however a household built on the basis of love should be saved first.

The husband, as the head of the family, has to play a role in guiding his wife and to not easily pronounce the divorce 'talak' due to petty reasons.

As the Malay proverb goes 'sedangkan lidah lagikan tergigit, inikan pula suami isteri' (which illustrates that marriage is not always pleasant,but as partners in life we endure the small things)

Divorce is not encouraged in Islam, on the contrary it is the only last resort to overcome marital problems. When there is an issue in a marriage, think deeply and maturely about the matter. There are many negative consequences if divorce occurs, for example it will most definitely affect the welfare and relationships between children, besides breaking down family institutions and triggering long-term conflicts.

Children need the love of their parents and as a couple, the key to navigating a marriage is patience. Think and be reasonable before acting to break the marriage and strive to see other's positive attributes, traits and contribution to a marriage.

Husbands and wives should first seek advice from either a counseling specialist or a more knowledgeable third party to help solve the problems that they face in their marriage.

The state relihious authorities should also improve the pre-marriage course in accordance with the current situation. Some new modules need to be streamlined so that they are comprehensive and give more understanding to couples when navigating through marriages.

Knowledge regarding financial, mental and emotional management as well as domestic violence should be given consideration to prevent divorce cases from continuing to increase. In addition, married couples also need to better understand each other's responsibilities and know the original purpose of a marriage.

For Muslims, look deeply and understand the purpose of marriage from the syariah point of view.

Marriage in Islam is part of worship, once a couple understands this it can help to build a strong bond that lasts forever. A strong faith and belief system between husband and wife can certainly give birth to patience, trust, tolerance and love.