KOTA BHARU – Every night when darkness falls and the lights go out, Siti (not her real name), 28, serving time behind bars, holds her one-year-old daughter close and weeps quietly.
Looking at her child's innocent face, Siti cannot hide the sadness and guilt of having to raise her third child inside a prison.
Siti was sentenced to five years in prison beginning January last year while five months pregnant, after being convicted under Section 39C of the Dangerous Drugs Act.
"I still remember it clearly, hands shackled and chained, I was brought to the delivery room at Raja Perempuan Zainab II Hospital (HRPZ II).
"My emotions were all over the place — the pain, the shame, the humiliation, the sadness. I gave birth with my hands in handcuffs.
"When I think back on it, I wish I could erase that painful memory entirely," she told Sinar at the Pengkalan Chepa Prison.
According to Siti, going through her postpartum confinement period behind bars was deeply difficult, as she had to handle everything on her own — from washing to caring for her newborn.
She said every time she went through those moments, she was overwhelmed with longing for her husband, her two other children aged six and three and the rest of her family.
"During confinement, I was placed in a block with 15 other inmates, mostly older women, including two other mothers who had just given birth.
"The other inmates helped as much as they could. Disposable diapers and milk for my baby were fully provided by the prison.
"My child's clothing came from donations by non-governmental organisations," she said.
Emotional battle
Siti admitted that raising a child in prison is far from easy, as she is constantly fighting her own emotions.
"I swear, I promise I will never repeat my past mistakes after I am released in April 2028.
"I feel so guilty towards my children," she said, visibly overcome with emotion.
Siti said her 35-year-old husband is currently serving time at Bukit Besi Prison in Terengganu on drug trafficking charges, leaving their two other children in the care of her mother-in-law and sister-in-law.
She said her daily routine in prison with her youngest daughter begins at 6.30am, and after breakfast, the child is sent to a care centre also supervised by fellow inmates.
"I then go to work at the storage unit and see my daughter briefly at noon before continuing until 4pm.
"After that, I return to be with her. That is our daily routine here," she said.
Siti said she first became entangled with drugs at the age of 17, taking stimulant pills to keep herself energised while working as a food stall assistant.
The second of four siblings said her father passed away when she was seven and she only managed to study until Form One.
"My mother died when I was 14.
"I desperately needed money, so I had to work hard. I would take two stimulant pills at a time, at RM10 to RM15 each.
"Over time I became addicted, but stopped briefly at 21. After having my second child, I relapsed because my husband was also a drug dealer," she said.
INFO
Children in prison statistics (2026):
January – 39
February – 41
March – 31
April – 25