HIV: How husbands' secret lives are infecting their wives

SHAH ALAM - HIV in Malaysia is changing and not in the way many people expect.

Once linked mostly to drug use and needle sharing, the virus today is being driven by sexual transmission and women, especially wives, are paying the price for risks they never chose.

In 2024, 90 per cent of Malaysia’s 3,185 new HIV cases came from men, while only 10 per cent involved women.

Health experts say a growing number of these women were infected not through their own behaviour, but through their husbands’ hidden sexual lives, including relationships with other men.

Celebrity doctor Dr Shazril Shaharuddin, popularly known as Dr Say, said this painful trend is recurring in stories shared by news portals and clinics.

"Because husbands are having sexual relations with other men, the entire family ends up paying the price.

"Many wives are getting infected simply because their husbands are secretly bisexual," he said in his latest video.

HIV, or Human Immunodeficiency Virus, isn’t something you read about in a textbook anymore; it’s happening in real life, to real people.

The virus attacks your immune system, slowly breaking down the body’s natural defences.

HIV attacks and destroys the immune system. If untreated, the immune system weakens until it reaches AIDS, the final and most dangerous stage of infection.

Once a person gets HIV, there is currently no cure. They will live with it for life.

But as Dr Say stresses, that does not mean life is over.

“There is ARV, antiretroviral medication, that people with HIV must take every day, at the same time, for the rest of their lives,” he said.

With consistent treatment, the virus can be suppressed to an undetectable level, meaning it is untransmittable.

“If the virus is undetectable, they can live like everyone else with long life, healthy relationships and even have sex without passing HIV to their partner. But ARV must be taken for life," he added.

When marriage becomes the point of exposure

For many women, marriage is expected to be a space built on trust, security and transparency. But recent HIV trends in Malaysia are revealing a far more distressing reality.

Health data shows that unsafe sexual activity, particularly sex without condoms, has been the leading cause of HIV transmission since 2011.

By 2024, it accounted for 95 per cent of all new infections, overtaking needle-sharing and other high-risk behaviours once commonly associated with the virus.

This shift means HIV is no longer confined to stereotypes or marginalised groups; it is emerging within homes, marriages and intimate relationships, often catching wives completely unaware.

Dr Say cautioned that the consequences of secretive sexual behaviour stretch far beyond the individuals involved.

“To married men who still engage in risky behaviour, please remember, don’t let your moment of pleasure destroy your wife and eventually your children. If any family member gets HIV, they will live with it for life," he added.

For the record, seventeen civil servants were among 208 people arrested by police in a raid on a health club believed to have been used for unnatural sexual activities on Nov 28.

Seventeen civil servants were among 208 people arrested by police in a raid on a health club believed to have been used for unnatural sexual activities on Nov 28.

Kuala Lumpur police deputy chief Datuk Mohd Azani Omar said the 8pm operation in Chow Kit was carried out by the KL Strike Force, with the cooperation of the Federal Territories Islamic Religious Department (Jawi) and Kuala Lumpur City Hall (DBKL), following two weeks of intelligence-gathering and surveillance.

The two-storey premises had been operating for the past eight to ten months, from 5pm to 11pm on weekdays and 3pm to 11pm on weekends.

The health club promoted its premises on social media platforms such as TikTok, as well as through word of mouth from regular customers.

The premises had several enclosed spaces, including small rooms and semi-dark areas, in addition to sauna and jacuzzi facilities believed to be the main attractions.