When love meets the ledger: Why money can make or break young marriages

KUALA LUMPUR – For Gen Z couples stepping into marriage, money talks are no longer awkward side conversations but a core part of deciding whether a relationship can actually last.

Bayyinah Institute founder Nouman Ali Khan said financial responsibility in marriage is not a lifestyle preference but a clear contractual obligation.

“Women are not owners of men and their finances.

“Men are fully responsible for the finances of the house, for the women,” he said at the World #QuranConvention 2025 on Dec 7.

He stressed that while marriage is about partnership, it does not turn spouses into financial controllers.

“She’s your wife. She’s not your accountant. She doesn’t actually control. She shouldn’t control any of your finances, she has no right to control any of your financial decisions,” he said, adding that financial discipline remains a personal duty.

In the meantime, Nouman said financial independence does not cancel out responsibility.

“You are responsible to make responsible financial decisions yourself. However, you are responsible for her upkeep entirely, as an economic constant in the family,” he said, describing this as one of the non-negotiable pillars of marriage.

Money stress continues to be one of the biggest triggers for conflict at home and often spills into separation. In Malaysia, financial strain is consistently cited as a key factor behind divorces, especially among younger couples navigating rising living costs, debt and unstable income.

According to the Marriage, Divorce and Rujuk Statistics 2025 released by the Department of Statistics Malaysia, the country recorded 60,457 divorces in 2024, an increase of 4.1 per cent from 58,095 cases in 2023. Chief Statistician Datuk Seri Dr Mohd Uzir Mahidin said the crude divorce rate rose to 1.8 per thousand population, up from 1.7 previously.

The data also showed Muslim divorces increased by 7.3 per cent to 47,577 cases in 2024, compared with 44,322 the year before. Historical figures further highlight the role of money, with about 43.1 per cent of non-Muslim divorces in one recorded year linked directly to financial problems, based on National Registration Department tribunal statistics.

Nouman reminded couples that marriage, at its core, is a contract built on rights and responsibilities.

“When she says he doesn’t spend enough on me, she has a right to say that. And he has a right to say that’s the most I can do. And then you have a right to say this contract isn’t working,” he said.

He added that budget fights are not just a domestic issue but a reflection of larger systems.

“Most households fight over what is in the marriage budget. Budget crisis in the government, budget crisis in the corporation and budget crisis at the kitchen table,” he said.

“If you can’t fix the budget crisis at the kitchen table, don’t talk about the government,” Nouman stressed, leaving young couples with a blunt reminder that if the numbers do not add up and the expectations cannot align, they have the right to question the contract

For young couples, the message is simple but uncomfortable: If money conversations are avoided, they will surface later as conflict and when expectations no longer align, questioning the contract may not be failure, it may be honesty.