Marriage myths debunked: Why 'happily ever after' isn't that simple

In Malaysia, young people are increasingly turning away from traditional beliefs surrounding marriage.

While marriage remains an important milestone for many, other aspects of life are increasingly valued, making being single more socially acceptable, even for women well into their 40s.

This shift in mindset has particularly impacted women, for whom the notion of remaining single was once heavily criticised.

Here are six common myths about marriage that have been debunked by today's generation, which has adopted a more progressive view of relationships and personal fulfilment:

MARRIAGE IS THE SOLUTION TO A HAPPY LIFE

Recent studies have shown that emotional well-being is more closely tied to factors such as financial stability, career satisfaction and mental health than to marital status.

This new perspective encourages individuals to prioritise their personal growth and stability before considering marriage.

Happiness is no longer seen as dependent on being married as research showed that a married person can experience just as much unhappiness as someone who is single.

Additionally, the rising divorce rates indicate that many people now believe a fulfilling life can be achieved without a legal partner and living independently brings lifelong happiness.

YOU MUST GET MARRIED BY A CERTAIN AGE

The average age for entering marriage has steadily increased.

Research has shown that men typically marry around the age of 30, while women marry at around 28, a significant increase compared to earlier generations when marriage occurred at a much younger age.

A variety of factors, including economic conditions, career aspirations and changing social norms have led to a delay in marriage, with some even opting to forgo it altogether.

The pressure to marry young has diminished significantly, with individuals now placing greater emphasis on personal readiness and long-term compatibility, rather than conforming to traditional timelines.

A MARRIAGE CAN ONLY PROSPER WITH CHILDREN—THE MORE, THE BETTER

With Malaysia's fertility rate now at just 1.6 children per woman, attitudes towards parenthood are rapidly changing.

A range of factors, including financial stress, evolving lifestyle choices and career ambitions, have led many couples to reconsider having children altogether.

Some are choosing to remain child-free, a decision that was once considered taboo.

Parenthood, often idealised in media, can also add significant strain to relationships if not properly planned.

As an increasing number of couples choose a childfree lifestyle, it is becoming evident that a fulfilling marriage does not depend on having children.

MARRIAGE IS NOT ONLY ABOUT LOVE AND ROMANCE

For the current generation, a successful marriage is no longer seen as a fairy tale romance.

Instead, it is understood as a partnership based on shared values, financial planning, emotional intelligence and mutual respect.

An increasing number of people believe in equally sharing both household responsibilities and emotional labour, rather than adhering to traditional gender roles.

Gender equality within the home is a central issue in modern relationships, with fairness and mutual understanding seen as vital components of marital success.

Failure to address these aspects is often cited as a reason for marital breakdowns.

DIVORCE DOES NOT EQUAL FAILURE

The rising divorce rate, particularly among younger Malaysians, reflects a growing shift in attitudes.

Today’s generation views divorce not as a failure, but as a solution to a toxic or incompatible relationship.

Divorce is seen as an acknowledgment that the marriage isn’t working, rather than a destructive act.

Prioritising self-fulfilment, happiness and mental health has become more important than adhering to societal pressures to stay in an unhappy marriage.

Remarrying or choosing to remain single post-divorce is increasingly viewed as a valid and acceptable choice.

BEING SINGLE MEANS BEING LONELY

The stereotype that single people are lonely has been thoroughly debunked.

Many Malaysians are choosing to remain single well into adulthood while leading fulfilling and meaningful lives.

Rather than seeing marriage as the ultimate goal for happiness, singles are focusing on personal growth, career success and building strong social connections.

A stable career and a supportive network of friends are often enough to bring happiness.

Digital communities, alternative living arrangements and shared accommodations also provide ways to combat loneliness and foster meaningful relationships outside of marriage.

As societal norms evolve, it becomes clear that marriage is no longer the definitive path to happiness.

Whether one chooses marriage or embraces singlehood, both options are valid and can lead to a fulfilling life.

As these perspectives continue to shift, the choice is ultimately in the hands of the individual.