Full-time motherhood, full-time costs

FOR Farah Fasha Muhammad Mohan, staying home with her daughter felt right - at least at first.

After resigning from her job, the 35-year-old imagined mornings filled with playtime and afternoons devoted to mothering. But reality quickly set in: being a full-time housewife wasn’t just a lifestyle choice - it was a carefully calculated financial decision.

“For most of us (women), living in our own home without working isn’t really an option, unless both partners are willing to live very modestly. Even then, expenses are usually just enough… or not enough. There’s no cushion,” Farah said.

To make it work, she moved in with her mother, where bills are shared among her siblings.

“This is the only reason I can stay home right now, all costs are split,” she explained.

When the household had two incomes, renting an apartment in urban Selangor was manageable. With just one? Impossible.

Now expecting her second child, Farah plans to return to work after maternity leave so her family can live independently. A single-income household simply wouldn’t stretch far enough.

“If we settle on our own, I’ll have to work again. Unless I can earn from home at the level of a salaried job or my husband can cover everything and still have extra, I would choose to be a housewife,” she said.

But returning to work comes with its own pressures. Higher rent, childcare for two children and the rising cost of nursery fees make the decision far from simple.

“When I think about working again, I also think about how expensive childcare has become,” she said.

Meanwhile, a 34-year-old woman who only wanted to be known as Raihana, knows the dilemma well. After taking a two-year break as a stay-at-home mother, she found the role meaningful but also emotionally and financially demanding.

Raised in a family where women worked and built careers, Raihana never saw family and work as opposing paths.

“It was never about choosing one over the other. It was about learning how to balance both,” she said.

While she values the time spent at home, the absence of her own income raised concerns about long-term security, particularly savings, retirement planning and Employees Provident Fund (EPF) contributions.

“That was when I realised I needed my own financial footing,” she said.

Today, Raihana works in a field she enjoys, which she said shapes how she approaches the question of staying home.

“It was meaningful, but also physically and mentally exhausting. I truly salute women who thrive in that role but I realised it just wasn’t for me," she said.