Too involved? How parental intervention shapes children in school

SHAH ALAM – As classrooms become increasingly interconnected with parents through digital platforms and instant communication, the line between home and school authority is becoming harder to define.

While parental involvement is widely seen as essential in shaping a child’s development, concerns are growing over whether excessive intervention may unintentionally disrupt classroom discipline and a teacher’s authority.

Social psychologist Dr Adnan Omar warns that when boundaries between educators and parents become unclear, children may be the ones most affected – caught between conflicting expectations, emotional pressure and uncertainty over behavioural norms.

He said parental engagement in education is not only healthy but necessary for holistic child development.

However, he cautioned that problems arise when involvement becomes excessive and interferes with school governance and discipline structures.

One of the key concerns, he said is when communication between parents and teachers breaks down and is replaced with assumptions and blame.

“In this unhealthy interaction, children may receive contradictory demands and information about what is right and wrong and sometimes, without realising, parents and teachers are being ‘used’ to go against each other,” he told Sinar Daily.

Dr Adnan said one of the most immediate psychological impacts of conflicting authority figures is confusion among children about moral and behavioural expectations.

When parents and teachers are not aligned in their disciplinary approaches, he said, children may struggle to establish clear behavioural boundaries and differentiate acceptable conduct across environments.

“Life requires us to learn about boundaries.

“Both school and home are two of the main institutions that together teach these boundaries and they have to support each other in this crucial life development of children,” he said.

Dr Adnan added that misalignment between parents and teachers can lead to children feeling emotionally pressured, particularly when they are placed in the middle of disagreements between adults.

He also noted that rising parental defensiveness often stems from misunderstandings of school systems and expectations.

“Some parents may not fully realise that schools follow different structures and learning styles compared to how family and homes teach children,” he said.

This gap in understanding, he said can sometimes lead to misinterpretations of disciplinary decisions, which then escalate tensions between parents and educators.

At the same time, Dr Adnan acknowledged that teachers operate under real constraints in managing discipline effectively, particularly in environments with large class sizes and limited resources.

“With too many children who need care and teaching, it is very possible that teachers simply do not have enough time and other resources to manage the discipline of every pupil,” he said.

He also cautioned against the growing tendency for school-related conflicts to be escalated on social media, saying that such actions often worsen misunderstandings rather than resolve them, urging parents to prioritise direct communication.

He said rather than viewing each other as competing authorities, parents and teachers should recognise their complementary roles in guiding children through critical stages of growth.