Grooming: The silent predator - How manipulation destroys lives

SHAH ALAM - Grooming often involves an older individual manipulating a younger, more vulnerable person who lacks the cognitive and emotional development or life experience to recognise coercion, making them easy targets for abuse, manipulation and exploitation.

This insidious process, which exploited the trust and emotions of victims, was at the core of many cases of abuse, manipulation and illegal activities.

Criminologist Shankar Durairaja said that grooming is a calculated process where perpetrators build relationships and emotional attachments to gain the trust of their targets.

"Grooming is when a person or group establishes a relationship with an emotional attachment to a child, young person or vulnerable adult to gain their trust.

"The ultimate goal is to abuse, manipulate or exploit them to achieve the groomer’s motives, which often includes illegal acts such as sexual exploitation and financial crimes," he told Sinar Daily when contacted recently.

According to Shankar, when it comes to children, the age difference between the victim and the groomer is a significant factor that reflects a power imbalance.

He stated that grooming a child often requires less effort because their cognitive and emotional development is still maturing.

While child grooming is more widely discussed, Shankar said adult grooming is also alarmingly prevalent.

From love fraud to human trafficking and job scams, grooming is often a key strategy employed to manipulate adults into compromising situations.

"Adult grooming is widespread globally. It’s often used in crimes like love fraud, where victims were deceived into romantic relationships or in human trafficking, where trust was built before the exploitation began," he said.

According to Shankar, in Malaysia, the legal framework faces limitations.

If grooming was followed by illegal acts like sexual crimes or financial fraud, existing laws could be applied.

But the act of grooming itself, when it involved adults, remained a grey area.

"The Sexual Offences Against Children Act 2017 criminalised various forms of sexual exploitation, including grooming with minors, defined as those under the age of 18.

"If those involved were over the age of 18, it could not be criminalised under existing laws as those involved were capable of giving consent," he said.

However, he said if grooming was followed by illegal acts such as sexual crimes or financial crimes, it was a criminal offence under existing laws.

Recognising the signs of grooming early could be lifesaving. Shankar pointed out that victims, regardless of age, often exhibited noticeable behavioural changes.

He said adults who were being groomed might become increasingly withdrawn, avoiding interactions with friends, family or colleagues.

"Emotionally, they will become more volatile, displaying sudden mood swings, heightened anxiety, or signs of depression.

"They seem constantly worried, isolating themselves from the outside world and struggling to trust those around them," he said.

Financial patterns could also reveal red flags. Shankar said victims will make large, unexplained transactions, suddenly struggle with basic expenses or show unusual financial generosity toward a specific individual.

He highlighted that these financial changes often accompanied a shift in how victims used their phones or the internet.

"They will spend an unusual amount of time on their devices but remain secretive about who they’re communicating with.

"In many cases, victims become overly anxious when they receive calls or messages and immediately seek privacy to respond,” he added.

Socially, he said victims will introduce a 'new friend' or partner in vague terms, avoiding questions about how they met or who this person really is.

"Over time, their performance at work or universities will decline, reflecting their emotional and psychological distress," he said.