The silent strength of caregivers in breast cancer battles 

Every October, the world turns pink. Pink ribbons, pink campaigns, pink walks, all to remind us of the importance of breast cancer awareness and the strength of those fighting it.

But beyond the survivors themselves, there is another group silently carrying a heavy load: the caregivers. They are the daughters, sons, spouses and friends who stand beside their loved ones through every diagnosis, treatment and difficult day.

For Dr Hanani Kamarudin, a health expert and certified health coach, the fight against breast cancer became deeply personal when her mother was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer.

As both a doctor and a daughter, she found herself balancing two identities: the clinical professional who understood the medical journey and the child who was suddenly thrust into the raw, emotional role of caregiver.

"It's completely different when it's your own mother. The emotional toll is heavy. I was the one who had the encourage her to eat, to take care of herself. I'd bring home fruits and try my best to keep her strong," he said in a sharing session recently.

According to her, her mother's battle was made even more challenging by diabetes, which slowed down healing after a mastectomy performed just two weeks after her biopsy.

"As a caregiver, you feel an intense responsibility; you just want them to recover. We even bought fancy turbans and a prosthetic breast so she could still go shopping. It was our way of keeping her spirit alive," she added.

Health expert and certified health coach Dr Hanani Kamarudin.

The diagnosis that changed everything

Like many women, Dr Hanani’s mother had initially ignored a lump. Dr Hanani revealed that it was painless and her mother kept it a secret for a year.

But as a doctor, she knew that a painless lump could be more dangerous than a painful one. She insisted her mother go for a mammogram, which led to an ultrasound and finally a biopsy.

"When the result came back as BI-RADS 5, highly suspicious, my legs shook. I break bad news to patients every day, but when it’s your own family, it’s different. You know exactly what they have to go through," she said.

Her mother’s diagnosis of stage 3B adenocarcinoma was devastating. Yet, Dr Hanani chose strength over despair, holding herself together for her mother’s sake.

“I didn’t even have time to cry. I had to be strong for her, to be the backbone," she added.

As treatment began for chemotherapy, hospital admissions and the exhausting side effects, Dr Hanani found herself in a role she couldn’t fully control.

"She found me annoying sometimes. I’d say, ‘You can’t just lie in bed after chemo. Your blood might clot, you’ll get dehydrated.’ She’d say, ‘Kakak, please, I’m fine.’ But I insisted we walk," she said.

The reality of watching her mother lose her hair, vomit and struggle through treatment was almost unbearable.

"It broke me. As a doctor, I knew what was coming. As a daughter, I had to watch it happen," she said.

Despite her medical background, Dr Hanani believes recovery is not just about surgery, chemotherapy or medication.

Her mother’s strength, she says, came from within. Today, Dr Hanani admits her mother’s illness has made her a more empathetic doctor.

"I’m now more vigilant with my patients. I encourage them not to delay, not to dismiss their symptoms. The earlier, the better. I remind them that survival rates are improving in Malaysia because of early detection and advanced treatment," she added.